Blogapaloooza!

It's Blogapalooza! A chance for you to meet some exciting new writers AND score some exciting prizes. All you have to do is read my post, and then visit the 7 bloggers below and read their entries, and try to find the common phrase used in all eight. NOTE: It WILL be a phrase, so single words like "the" or "and" don't count! Once you think you have it, email it to mikewood_3@yahoo.com and you will be put into the running for a great gift "basket" comprised of prizes personally selected by the eight bloggers. A random drawing from all correct entries will be conducted one week from today, with special preference given to those who choose to follow all eight of us!

I'ev tohuhgt lnog and hrad aoubt waht I wnaetd to wirte aoubt for tihs. I'm not srue I'm ralely itno epxonsig my depeset touhghts to the wlord. Smoeadys it all smees a bit slily, tihs slef pormtoion sutff we witrers are tlod to do. My asbecnce form my bolg has bene in prat due to my tohuhtgs on tihs sjbucet, and I've bene wkornig aawy at cahgnnig tnihgs aoubt mslyef taht hvae ndeeed cgahnnig. Tehre's bnee no ryhme or raeosn to some of the eelmnets I've cnhaged in my lfie. Smoe cahengs hvae bnee ndeeed for a vrey lnog tmie. The lsat two yares of my lfie hvae bnee aoubt chngae, diong tihgns dfifrenelty, sehddnig old wyas of bieng. It aapeprs I am eovlvnig and tarsnorfnimg, and somoedyas taht is a cnosfunig and trerfiiyng pcroses. My lfie has bnee vrey qiuet tehse lsat two yares. Fnuny how the qisuetet mmonets can beerd shuc azmniag cnahge.

My scenod bkoo wlil be cmonig. The fsrit bkoo toko froty or so yares to eovlve. If tihs one tkaes two, taht'll be aswmoe. Godo lcuk to you as you wrko trhuogh bolgpalazooa! Heer are yuro lnkis:


http://www.facebook.com/l/729317-ZCURupfFfJRKuVNeWxbg;meganbostic.blogspot.com

http://www.facebook.com/l/729316qaXRCtDFNWqv9KM0jvEYg;lynneawest.blogspot.com

http://www.facebook.com/l/72931ISQX1ALFhFZeTuVNXDhlaA;mikesshot.blogspot.com

http://www.facebook.com/l/72931lz38B8UjEa2Fn-5zENyUoA;chrisbwritin.blogspot.com

http://www.facebook.com/l/729318nlLwRudw_RHn-bC2cpQyw;joannastjames.blogspot.com

http://www.facebook.com/l/72931Gc82dDiDVBOUUdKmzCfOWA;eviebalos.blogspot.com

http://www.facebook.com/l/72931SbYv1LN07KnA7PMszQUkTg;www.badboyscanbefun.com/blog

A Writer's Reality 101: The Story Behind the Story

This interview may be my greatest challenge to date. I'm interviewing mystery man Jonathan Spectre, author of...of...geeze! I read so many excerpts from the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Awards that I can't remember the title of your book Jonathan. It'll come back to me, I'm sure, but to save us some time, what's the title?

Jonathan: What? You don't have my excerpt printed out and framed over your desk? I'm astounded. Well, right now the title is "The Key of Caligula's Bath: A Madison Dawn Adventure"- though I fully expect an editor to change it. It doesn't roll off the tongue, but I was going off the axiom that a good title says what the story is about.

Lisa: Thanks Jonathan. Now folks, here's the kicker. Jonathan Spectre's name isn't really Jonathan Spectre. Jonathan writes under a pen name. I have no idea who he really is, but, as I am providing him with his premiere interview on the World Wide Web, he should at least be so kind as to give up the goods to me first, here in public, when he is ready and willing to do so. Do we have a deal Jonathan?

Jonathan: Oh. When I said I'd give you the goods in public, I thought we were talking in euphemisms. Hmm. This is awkward.... Anyway, yes, you have no idea who I really am. I'm in the same boat. I don't know how many times I've taken a hard look in the mirror and said "Who am I?" This is right after I've bolted upright in bed and just before the girl with the emerald eyes bursts into tears. Sorry, got caught up in cliché’s there. What was the question again? Ah yes. No, I'm not ready and willing to tell your readers my real name.

Lisa: Let me re-phrase that last question of mine. If you ever decide to finally go public with your real name, will you agree to let me break the news on my blog in the future? Pretty please? And I know a bit about why you write under a pen-name, but others don't. Care to explain?

Jonathan: Sure. There are two main reasons why I chose a pen-name. (Three if you count "I like to think of myself as a secret agent spy" as a legitimate excuse). One, there's already an author with my name. He writes non-fiction, liberal political, Bush-hater type stuff, so I figured it would confuse everyone when his name appeared on an adventure novel. Second, I wrote much of my book while travelling for work, which meant I wrote it on a company computer. I'm a little concerned what my company would say if they found out I wrote a hit best-seller that grossed millions of dollars and got a movie deal while working for them (even though I wrote on my own time). They'd probably want to claim it as their intellectual property. This is all assuming someone actually decides to publish my book, of course.

Lisa: Any hints for us as to what you do for a career while waiting for your book to become a bestseller?

Jonathan: I’m an engineer. I know this makes people want to run to their bookstore and see what fun adventure tale I’ve concocted. No one tells colorful, adventurous stories like an engineer. I work in aerospace in a job I love. It was what I’d hoped to do when I entered college. Can’t really complain about that.

Lisa: What motivated you to begin writing your own novel?

Jonathan: Now that is a very interesting question. I hope the answer makes sense to your readers because I think it might make me sound like a crazy person. I was going through some counselling a few years ago because, well, I messed up and I’m messed up, to be honest. During that time I found out two important things about myself. One, I put far too much into what people think about what I do and who I am. Everything I did was for someone else’s approval, hoping they would validate me as a person if they liked x, y, or z. Second, I learned I was addicted to romance. I know this sounds like a wonderful thing to be addicted to, but it really means I was addicted to this false, superficial, emotional high that we get in the early throws of love. I decided that I would put this “addiction” to use and write an adventure novel. Moreover, I would write it in secrecy. I wanted to do this without an ‘attaboy’, without any real hope that my friends would like me more because I was writing a novel. It’s actually another reason for the pen name. No one in my real life knows I’ve been writing this book over the last 2 ½ years, so I don’t look to others to approve of my writing.

Lisa: What has it been like for you, keeping your writing a secret from everyone who knows you? Have there been moments when it’s been tough not being able to share what’s been happening with the book, like when you made it to the semi-final rounds in ABNA?

Jonathan: Honestly, it’s been weird. I only picked a pen name the day I sent in my ABNA submission. I just thought I’d get some non-biased feedback on my writing to see if I had anything worth publishing. It turned out I met a lot of really cool writerly friends, and now I’m a bit torn as to whether to merge things or not. There’s been a number of really funny interactions on the ABNA forum that I wanted to share with my wife, but couldn’t. And getting my novel read by PW in the quarterfinals was cool too, but I couldn’t share my successes. I’m kind of ready to be done with it all. But the problem is that I’ve kept this secret for two and a half years, so I need to get something out of it. My plan is to get a little more feedback and then see if anyone is interested in publishing it. If so, I’ll dedicate it to my wife and have a surprise for her waiting under the Christmas tree some day. If not, well, I’ll probably still print it off and give it to her as a present, anyway. I mean, yes, it’s not good to keep a secret from your wife, but I shouldn’t be in too much hot water if I dedicate it to her. Right?

Lisa: No comment on your last question directed toward me, although it might be interesting to hear readers’ opinions on that. What’s the book about Jonathan? And is there some romance in it?

Jonathan: Eh. Let’s just say that was a rhetorical “Right?” I’m probably in trouble either way. The Key of Caligula’s Bath is about Madison Dawn, a single girl just out of college who crashes her car when a mysterious cell phone starts ringing. Madison learns that she is carrying a large ruby known as the Key of Caligula’s Bath and the nefarious Italian antiquities smugglers want it back. A treasure hunter named James Kynan takes her into his world of treasure hunting and Madison must join with James to find out what this key is used for and to recover the artifact hidden in Caligula’s Bath. Along the way she learns that she is more than just a struggling receptionist, and that life is more than just being a Disney princess and waiting for life to happen to her. She also learns that the mysterious James, who has his own set of faults and addictions, can redeem himself and prove himself to her. Think of it as an Indiana Jones story written from the woman’s perspective. Yes, there is some romance in it, but it’s the early, flirty kind. The novel is aimed at adult readers who have been reading YA because they like the adventure but aren’t interested in reading about divorce, child abuse, senile parents, substance abuse, etc. So sex is discussed but there aren’t any love scenes in it. The language is clean, the heroes fight their demons but are good at heart, and the villains are more than just one-dimensional bad guys. It’s a book that leaves you smiling, yet hopefully asks you to evaluate your own life and the battles you need to fight. Someone could recommend it to their coworkers or friend at their place of worship and not have to say “Oh, but there’s this one part you’ll want to skip over”.

Lisa: Aspects that you loved/hated about writing the book?

Jonathan: I loved watching characters develop over time. My creative writing is usually limited to 6-8 minute sketches, where the point of attack is so late. With a novel, I could watch my characters grow up and grow together. I could pit their relationship against staggering odds and watch it smother for a while before it regained its flame. The characters in my book are like friends of mine that I just haven’t seen in a while. We’ve been on a great adventure together, I just don’t have the pictures to prove it.

I really hated seeing how many crutches I use in writing. The editing has been brutal as I find excessive adverbs, long lists, repeated phrases, clichés, and unimaginative descriptions. If I had known how weak my writing was when I started, I probably never would have written it. It’s been a great experience but a humbling one at that. And, not being published, I have no idea how far I have yet to go. Who knows, I may only be on level 2 of 10.

Lisa: Do you feel that writing this book accomplished what you wanted in terms of helping you through the primary issues in your life?

Jonathan: Well, yes and no. The book ended up being a place where I could put some of the things I’ve learned about myself into words. I gave James the problems that I’ve been dealing with and watched how it tortured him and made me lose respect for him. So the book itself didn’t really help me through the issues, but it became like a book report where you write about what you’ve learned. I wrote my own object lesson.

Lisa: Everything within the publishing world seems to have within it aspects of wanting approval from others – from finding an agent, to finding a publisher that wants your work, finding an audience and hoping your work appeals to them – the last part of this process strikes me as perhaps creating a challenge for you, in terms of believing in yourself even when it feels like no one else believes in you. It’s been a challenge for me. What do you think that process is going to be like for you?

Jonathan: Well, to be fair, I still desire others’ approval. It feels great for someone to pat me on the back. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s when you HAVE to have that approval that causes problems. It’s when your whole self-worth is based on what others think that causes the troubles. I’m in a much different boat from author’s trying to this as a career. I have a career that I love so I don’t need to be successful in writing to feel like I’ve supported my family or done something significant with my life. If my writing turns out not to be world-class even after I’ve put my maximum effort into improving it, so be it. It’s a fun hobby and I know my friends will enjoy it. Granted, I’m working very hard on it because I think I do have the ability to be a published writer, but if it doesn’t happen, I’ll lick my wounds and put my talents elsewhere. I do know that I would never have gotten anywhere with my writing without ABNA and the people I’ve met on the forums such as yourself, Gae, Megan, the Jeffs, Tracy, Mary, just to name a few. They’ve been invaluable at providing passionate, level criticism and advice that has helped me rewrite and rewrite and rewrite.

Lisa: Aww. Any plans for a second book?

Jonathan: I left the end of the book open to continue it as a series if the first book is successful. But I wouldn’t even start to write a second book without including my family. Also, since I don’t travel for work anymore, I’ve lost my writing time. I would need the support of my family to find time to write in the evenings where as now my evenings are full with other activities. I would like to continue the series, but the book stands on its own if I never write another one.

Lisa: You don’t have a blog or anything that I know of. If people are curious and want to follow your journey, how might they do that?

Jonathan: I’m on Facebook. People are welcome to friend me. Search for Jonathan Spectre. I look like a statue of a jester. I try to be clever, so perhaps I’m good for a laugh every now and then. I don’t have a blog or website or anything since I’m so new to this. Maybe I’ll just make a habit out of guest blogging on all of my ABNA friends’ blogs.

Lisa: Will you pop by every so often and let us know how things are going?

Jonathan: Sure, if you’d like. I’ll bring a casserole and a bottle of wine and we can all get caught up.

Lisa: Sounds lovely. I’ll make dessert. Any final words for the world?

Jonathan: Final words for the world? Wait, what kind of interview is this? This isn’t an interview, it’s an interrogation! Wha-wha-what are you going to do to me? Who are these men? They’re so strong. I can’t- I can’t see. Where are we going? Cigarette? No? Why- Why am I blindfolded? I can’t believe it ends like this! Tell my wife I love her! Dear God, be merci--

Lisa: I’m nothing if not determined. We’ll get his real name out him somehow…

Query Letters I Haven't Sent

I'm still working away at perfecting the query letter that will actually get an agent to ask for my work. Life would have been easier if I had written a less complex novel, something I need to remember for my next work. In between all my struggling and hair pulling and tantrums, I've entertained myself with writing queries that I don't actually send. If nothing else, they reveal my twisted sense of humor, might give someone a laugh, and show little bits about the book.

*Wanted*
One half-whacked literary agent with a slightly off kilter, crazed but humorous sensibility who is enamoured with the stupidly inane to represent my charmingly doltish, uniquely quirky, off-centered and heretofore leaning to the right social commentary disguised as a fluffy fur ball manuscript. If this description doesn't fit you, don't bother applying for the position to represent me, as we'll obviously be a match made in Hades. Applications only accepted from those agents with a track record of publishing bestsellers. Due to the overwhelming amount of applications I am receiving don't expect a reply until at least since months after Armageddon has past, and if my bad mood continues, possibly never. Then again, if you really bug me, I may just have to send you an email telling you I deleted your application from my inbox-just for the fun of it. Respectfully yours, Lisa

Dear Agent,
I read 'The Confederacy of Dunces' which was actually a really good book. It's really too bad though that the author had to off himself to get it published, and frankly, if this is the trend of the future, I may have to change my mind about wanting to become an author. I kind of like myself. Somedays. When I'm not trying to get people like you to notice me. Oh, and just to let you know, this may be your last chance to look at my ms for free. See, with all the work we authors have been putting in, we've decided that from now on, for any agent or publisher to look at our work, they have to pay a fee- but we've put it on a sliding scale- a former bestselling author's work- $10,000.00 bucks for a looky-loo. Previously published but not bestselling-$1000.00. Starving author- $5.00. Choose wisely. PS. For every dollar you spend, we'll match you with a penny to be sent to the Fictionally Oppressed Authors Fund. Have a nice day. Respectfully yours, Lisa

Dear Agent,
I've written a really funny book about death, personal devastation, and abandonment. If you think that is a hard thing to do, try your hand at writing a query letter that says that this without actually saying it. I could tell you more about it, but what would be the point since you aren't going to read the darn thing anyway? Respectfully yours, Lisa

Wanted:Agent for Representation

I've been querying. And I've recieved letters that are all starting to sound the same. Despite your merits...this is interesting...I think you've got a great thing going...funny, but sorry...

I'm probably not the best agent to represent you at this time.

Uughhhhhhhhh.

I know everyone thinks humor is subjective. I know I'm a first time author. I know you all think I'm a big time risk. But do you remember the March of the Penguins? It was funny, heartwrenching, different, weird, quirky, and whacked. Welcome to my book.

A love story that's weird. A story of revenge that's lighthearted in the revenge part.

A tale of a woman, a dog, and a whole bunch of strange characters that shouldn't fit together, but do, in a strange, magical, wonderful sort of way.

Somewhere out there in the nether regions of agent/publisher land there has to be someone who believes in a tragic-com for us human females. I'm looking for you, that agent that believes in all that is funny and sad, the one who wants to represent me. The person who wants what I have...where are you? The best person to represent me? I'm waiting, and it's getting just a bit chilly...

They're coming....

For all of you that are tired of me, and all my antics, I have some good news. Instead of me having my dog interview me again, I'm (yes - me, myself and I, and okay, maybe just occasionally the dog as well) going to be interviewing some other fine, fabulous, fascinating writers. This will be your chance to get the inside scoop on the life of a writer. Are you excited? I am. P.S. I'm still waiting for an agent to demand my manuscript. If I don't answer the phone, just leave a message with Kita (my dog). And I'll get back to you once I'm finished sorting through all my other offers.

Somedays Somethings are Better Left Unsaid.

But can you guess how I feel...?

It might be best if people kept their distance ....

I've been known to bite...

But I'm sure eventually I'll be alright....

Ping Pong

It’s Sunday, the end of the weekend. Weekends are nice. Agents don’t send out rejections on weekends. Altogether that makes life a little more pleasant. Rejections aside, lately I’ve noticed I’m much more prone to violent mood swings. On top of the world one moment and in the deepest depths of gloom the next. My life as a human yo-yo is tiring. Who knew that working toward one’s life dream would be such a mood de-stabilizer? My brain is in constant conversation with itself. “What you’ve written isn’t good enough.” “What you’ve written is fantastic.” “Great query letter, they’ll ask for more for sure.” “That query letter sucked!” ping…pong…up…down…and so it goes. The optimist in me is trying to hang on, but reading about the world of publishing is a little like having someone lift your fingers one by one as you hang on to a tree branch…your grip gets a bit tenuous to say the least.

My dad finished the manuscript last week. That in itself should say something about the manuscript. The book is written for a target audience of women, and my dad, who is 70ish, finished it…and really enjoyed it. He even started re-reading my Master’s thesis after finishing my manuscript. I guess he just couldn’t get enough of my writing. He still seems to be pondering where I learned to write so well. Um, Dad, it was during the seven years of university education, which I am still oh so happily paying off. Having actually written all my papers along the way to graduation, it appears I picked up a few skills along the way. And of course I have your brains. Need I say more? Feel free to make some sort of smart retort if you read this, Pop. The comments are few and far between at the moment. I’m still working at having an existence on the web.

Another reader has finished the manuscript. She’s a colleague and friend of mine…and yes, I would love to find someone who isn’t a friend to read the thing, but in case you haven’t noticed, if you ask most strangers to do something, they usually want money, or to tell you where to go. So… back to the friend and colleague...her name is Dianne G. She’s a Master’s level Counsellor, and these are her comments-edited to prevent giving away important parts of the plot.

Okay, I have to tell you right off that I loved it, Lisa. I genuinely mean that. I honestly sat with an overwhelming feeling of something almost spiritual after I finished it....it was like I could almost feel …{ ***}(as crazy as that sounds)… It was beautiful.

I think this book should be on the "Required Reading List" for new therapists. I learned a lot just in the session with the "good shrink" (an oxymoron?) alone. I laughed out loud when you wrote about how shrinks should be called {***}...hilarious. I loved the {}thing. Powerful stuff reading about how …{***}.

The book has a good flow to it, you segue so beautifully. We see Danny metamorphose from…{***}. And throughout the entire process of that character development you make the reader fall more and more in love with Danny with your use of humour. The {***}…was powerful for me. I'll remember that metaphor for the rest of my life.

I'm finding it hard to explain the feelings I was left with after finishing the book....a sense of possibility, hope....that it's okay to let go of certain people and situations in our lives if they are no longer working for us. To find humour in even the darkest times...that if we just open our eyes to it we'll see that there is no such thing as coincidence, that everything happens for a reason.

Thank you for writing this, Lisa. I'm proud of you beyond words.

Now let's get the {bleep} published. Dianne.

Any readers whose comments I publish are willing to give their names and numbers to interested publishers/agents to verify their comments.

Thanks Dianne, I believe in the book too. For good reason. Gotta go, I creatively challenged myself today in other ways and made some bread, and holy cow, it looks like it’s actually rising! Lisa