The 'Who Is...No One in Particular?' Contest

No One in Particular is, at present, an as yet to be published fictional manuscript detailing the ‘not quite normal’ and often hilarious journey of a therapist who falls apart and who must somehow find a way to come back together. In the novel, Danny, the quirky crispy fried heroine, writes to an enigmatic email contact: noone.inparticular@hotmail.com revealing her most personal thoughts, her most demented poetry, and just about everything else you would normally never willingly share with another human being.

Who do you think No One in Particular is? Is it Prince Charles? Your crotchety 87 year old aunt? A hamster? A dead zombie on Left for Dead? The barfed up fur ball of your cat?

Here is your chance to get creative. Who or what might No One be? Think inside, outside and around the box. The possibilities are endless. To submit your entry for this contest, email your guess along with your name and email address to noone.inparticular@hotmail.com or simply submit your guess to this blog. And just to let you know…although I, Lisa McLellan, hold that email address, don’t bother guessing me. I acquired the email address for the purpose of using it in the book. The contest will close 10 days before the release date of the published book. I’d like to post some of the funniest/most creative entries on my blog so when you write, let me know if you consent to have me post your guess. Manuscript readers are not allowed to enter the contest and are sworn to secrecy about who No One in Particular is.

And what will the lucky winner receive?

The first person to submit the correct answer will have a character named after them in my next book (already started). Yay! You will forever be immortalized in fiction! They will also receive an original, signed by the author, first draft manuscript, and a free signed copy of the book, along with a quirky t-shirt. And if the book gets big, sell, sell, sell, your stuff on E-bay! Talk about a win/win situation. Oh, and hey, if I happen to get a spot on Ellen or Oprah, I'll gladly take you along with me!

The most creative entry, as voted on by me and whoever I select as judges, will receive a free signed copy of the book and an original quirky T-shirt (Danny wears several of them in the book, all with different sayings) signed by the author.

When, and I say when, not if, I happen to happen upon a publishing contract, I’ll add more categories of winners. In the meantime, have some fun with this, invite your friends to participate, and follow things along on the blog, Face book and Twitter at http://twitter.com/no1inpartculr . The more people pushing for publication, the greater the market for the book, the higher the demand will be for your prizes on E bay.

And, if you happen to think this is hokey , then by all means email me with a better idea for promotion. Maybe we can have a hokey contest. That's hokey, all you Canadian boys, not hockey.

International Day of Tolerance

In the spirit of the International Day of Tolerance, which is today, unless I'm mistaken, which is possible, because life has been a bit of a blur lately (sick child, house renovations, life...need I say more?) I am going to try and be more tolerant in my own little bubble of isolation. I guess I could spew on the need for world tolerance, but the likelihood of anyone reading my diatribe on that is slim to none. I don't much care for being lectured, why would I expect anyone else to feel differently? And so, here is my pledge for the day.

Pledge of Tolerance

*I will continue to tolerate rejections from agents respectfully, even though I know that if they would just read the whole of my manuscript instead of a one page query letter, they might want to take me on.

*I will continue will continue to submit to agents and publishers while tolerating the knowledge that as an unknown author, the chances of getting someone to take a chance on me are apparently approaching the infinitesimal.

*I will continue to tolerate the fact that some publishers would rather take on a bad book from a known author than a good book from an unknown author, but I am only tolerating this, because really, what choice do I have?

Now, that's enough complaining for one day. I must recognize that as an author, agents get their pay from having authors that are highly marketable and successful. Since there is a very good chance that many more people might want to read what Ellen Degeneres has to say, vs. me. 'Ms. No One In Particular' I can see why she's much more likely to get a publishing contract than I am. I also have to admit that on a scale of funny, Ellen has me beat by a landslide. So, I shall suck up my frustration, and tolerate the realities of my situation. And in the meantime I will continue to work at trying to get published. This is the fight for the every day Jane, the small fish in the pond, the common person, because we have sometimes have something important worth saying, or writing and we need to be given our own little swimming hole.

Did I mention that I have emailed Ellen about my book? Well I did. I mean, hey, she campaigned Oprah for over a year to get on the cover of her magazine. I should be able to campaign her right? And just because I'm an unknown that doesn't make my campaign any less legit that hers...so wish me luck. Time to come up with some ideas. Anyone got any good ones?

And in the meantime, practice your tolerance...be kind to someone less famous than you.

World Kindness Day: Mission Kindpossible

Seeing as I am part of http://www.bloggersunite.org and today is World Kindness Day, I am once again blogging about kindness rather than about the mind-bending, seemingly insurmountable, optimism crushing process of trying to get published as a first time author. That being said, if any agent or publisher happens to come upon this blog, feel free to hit me with your own random act of kindness by asking to see my mansucript. I'll be more than happy to oblige you!
I tend to think that on any typical given day, I act with kindness toward others. Overall, it's a much nicer way to live, and even if I'm in the grumps, being nice to others helps me to feel better about myself. Today, though, I set out to go out of my way with being kind, it was my mission to purposefully instill kind acts on others. Although creatively speaking I don't feel I was at my very best, it has so far been an interesting experience. I think there are a couple of people out there who are still shaking their heads in shock, wondering what happened, because, I didn't tell all of them why I was doing what I did, I just did things. If you've read other posts in my blog, you've read about 'out of left field experiences,' uncommon events that shake us up and shock us. I gave some people left field experiences of the pleasant kind today. Fun, fun, fun. The world needs more of those.
Without further ado, here's how the day has gone down so far.
8:30am-Stopped at the Macs store to pick up a couple of little things. The friendly clerk asked if I would also like to buy a lottery ticket. I asked how much the jackpot was. His response-"$15,000,00.00." I bought a ticket along with my other stuff, briefly wondered at my own loss of sanity, and as I went to leave, handed him the ticket and said, "This is for you, it's world kindness day." I will always remember the complete look of stunned shock on his face as I left the store. He couldn't speak.
11:30am-Morning chores completed I ventured out for the day and drove through the Starbucks drive through for a morning decaf (I can't drink the real stuff, I'm already too wired). I had a $20.00 Starbucks card in my wallet I'd bought the week before, so after paying cash for my coffee and giving the barista a bit of a tip, I then gave the card to the Barista asking him to use it for the people behind me until the balance was gone. I was rewarded with a smile, and an acknowledgement of how nice that was. I've had this happen to me from others before and it does feel good. It was nice to do a pay it forward.
11:45am-On to Safeway (all these kind free plugs for businesses) where I purchased 6 bunches of tulips. The friendly clerk made each of the bouquets very pretty with rafia, and while she was doing that, the woman behind me had to wait a bit, so I chatted with her, and she told me how she liked to put poinsiettas on her stairs for Christmas because they looked so pretty. As I purchased the tulips, I also purchased her two poinsiettas. I think the poor woman was initially wondering if I was stealing her poinseittas, because she looked so confused. As I left I gave her a reassuring smile and told her to have a nice day. Another very stunned look.
12:10pm-I entered hospital emergency wanting to give the tulip bouquets to the triage nurses. They have so much crap to deal with I figured they could really use a random act of kindness. Emergency was packed with people, it's gotta be overflow from the flu I guess, geeze. Anyhow, all the nurses in there were so sweet and so thankful. It made me wish I could have done more in there. I was really glad I could provide a bright spot in their day.
12:20pm-I left emergency (and yes I disinfected my hands on the way out-kindness to me) and headed to Shopper's Drug Mart cause I knew I had some points for free merchandise wracked up on my Optimum card. On the way in there was a young woman from Child Find standing behind a table. Now, to tell the truth, I normally am prone to walking right by just giving a smile at times, because like a lot of people, I sometimes feel tapped out, or like it wasn't on my agenda to give to a certain organization. How dumb is that? I mean, here was someone staring me right in the face asking for help, and I almost walked by? I wouldn't have even paid attention to what organization was asking for assistance. Wake up call! I stopped, talked about how doing what she did must be hard and lonely at times. She was so sweet and there she was, volunteering her time, not because it was World Kindness Day, but obviously because she just is a caring, kind person. I gave her my last twenty dollars, went into the store and used my points to get two organic stuffies for free. On my way out of the store, I stopped at her table and gave them to her, telling her to give them to any kids she saw that looked like they could use some cheering up. She was so thankful. But really, I should have been more thankful to her. She's the one spending her whole day there in a very hard position. Did you ever notice that those who are generally the most giving are also the most thankful?
12:45pm-There's a church on a main thoroughfare in town and they always have a signs with sayings posted by the road. I thought it might be cool to have the sign changed to say "World Kindness Day, Beep for Kindness and Pay it Forward" so I went into the church to talk to someone about the possibility of this. A nice woman came to talk to me. She said she thought it sounded good, but the sign changer wasn't around and she knew the pastor had wanted other stuff on the sign. I offered to change the sign myself, but it basically came down to her being worried that the pastor might not be happy because he had his own sayings he wanted up. On the sign already was the saying "Act as the kind of person God would want you to be." Now, I'm not going to analyze this situation. You can do that. Interesting though, wouldn't you say?
It's now 4:30, and I'm back at home, supervising my son who I have kindly let have two friends sleep over. It's been an interesting day so far...

In Celebration of World Kindness Day on November 13

November 13 is World Kindness Day, and as a firm believer in all things kind, I thought it would be appropriate to write a story about kindness. The story I am about to write is true, and it’s time to say “thank you” publicly for an act of kindness that occurred over 60 years ago. Do you ever wonder about the impact your acts of kindness might have? Wonder no more.

It was the end of World War II and a small family from Latvia had been living in a Displaced Person’s camp in Germany for several years, having fled their home as the Soviets invaded. When the allies arrived and the camps were dispersed, the family feared the repercussions of returning to their homeland, and like so many others during that time, needed a safe place to rebuild their lives. There were many who ended up returning to a Soviet occupied Latvia, some by choice, some not. For this family, mercy and kindness arrived in the form of an American Red Cross worker with a Latvian heritage. Understanding the potential of what the family might face on their return home, he worked to ensure they would be able to find safe passage elsewhere.

And so the trio, a mother, a father, and their young son, boarded a boat, eventually arriving in Canada, their new home. They worked hard to contribute to the new country that welcomed them, the parents instilling a strong work ethic in their son. Their son turned into a very kind man, his experiences in his early years undoubtedly impacting his compassion and giving nature. Eventually he went through university and married a woman who also believed in giving to others, and they had three children. The man worked as a social worker and the woman as a nurse.

Although quiet by nature, over the years the man told some of the stories of his own childhood to his children. His values of making a difference in the world, and of treating others with kindness, were passed down to his children, and they in turn became a teacher, a nurse, and a counsellor, each in their own way working hard to make a positive impact on the lives of others. I am the daughter of that man, I am the counsellor, and I will never forget the kindness and mercy of a certain man that I do not know from the American Red Cross whose actions have given our family a safe place to call home, in an amazing country. Thank you to him, and although he doesn’t know it, over sixty years later, he is still thought of with gratitude, and his actions are continuing to ripple in this pond we call home.

Life's A Beach

Got up bright and early this am, cleaned self up all nice and even managed to dress in something other than jeans. Altogether I think I looked good enough for civilization. The plan was to be out and about in the world for the day. To commune with other humans and to utilize my slowly getting rusty social skills. And then...."Mom...I don't feel good..." echoed down the halls of the house. One sick son later, it was off with the dressy uppy clothes and on with the sweats and piggy slippers. Regrettably I didn't purchase the piggies that oink, so my two little comfy pink friends just shuffle around silently on my feet. No chance for intelligent discourse with them. And my son...well...he's lying on the couch, absorbed in his new i-pod touch, purchased with his birthday money. Every ten minutes or so I harrass him by asking if he wants something, just to provoke some sort of conversation. I've realized that some days, I could lose my voice and not even realize it until the end of the day, when the guys are home from school and work.

**Newsflash** More manuscript reader comments have arrived! They'll be posted under the 'manuscript reader' headline...but I bet you probably already figured that out didn't you? Whoever you are...if there really is anybody out there. Is there anybody out there? Helloo? There's probably a billion people out in cyber space. There's gotta be a least one of you accidently stumbling onto this blog right? Time to go. My son is contagious and the piggies are looking green with nausea and feel ever so slightly feverish. It appears I have a purpose to fulfill today.

Oh, To Be Back in Maui!

Miserable cold wet sheets of rain are pouring down and messing with my hair. Yuck. I'll just stare at my Maui pics with fond memories of my research trip. Gotta get this manuscript published. Beaches the world over are calling my name...
This location is in the book, but the book has to be published, so you can find out about where it is. Any guesses?

An Interview with Myself

Q. So why are you interviewing yourself?
A. Because I’m not famous enough to be interviewed by anyone else at the moment, although my dog would be happy to interview me, but she only speaks Chewbacca and most people don’t understand that language fully. Also, spending day after day at the computer writing is a lonely experience and I need someone to talk to. It seems less weird to do it on paper, rather than out loud.

Q. What’s Chewbacca?
A. Malamute speak-it consists of yelps, growls and a whole other assortment of weird noises. Apparently his own malamute what inspired George Lucas to create Chewie’s character on Star Wars. How is this relevant to anything?

Q. It’s not, but you brought it up. So how’s life in the land of trying to get published?
A. Frustrating, interesting, depressing, challenging, character building. Luckily for me, once I’ve set my mind to something, I’m not one to give up. This will happen. It’s just a question of when. I’ve just got to hit the right agent/publisher. Someone has to be willing to take a risk on a first time author and be open to reading the manuscript.

Q. You sound confident.
A. I waiver. I have bad days, but I believe in the foundation of what I’ve written. No One In Particular is a great story, it’s engaging, and it keeps you wondering what will happen next. The characters are appealing, and the ones that aren’t, well they’ll provoke some emotional responses as well. The book will provoke you emotionally. Mostly it will just make you laugh, but it will also make you uncomfortable, and it will make you think. Women from 25 onward will love this book. It’s not the kind of story you would read, put down and just say, “that was great.” You’ll have some sort of response to it. I love that about this book. It’s different. It’s not what you might initially expect, if you read any part of it, although I believe there are some very funny parts. It has to be taken in the whole.

Q. Can you expand more on the book being different?
A. Sure. It was written through stream of consciousness. I didn’t have the story planned out in my head at all. I just wrote. You can write a book and have everything planned out ahead of time, and a lot of us do this in our lives, we know where we’re going, where we want to be and we plan how to get there. Like me right now. I want to be published and I’m working and planning on how to get there. Sometimes in life, though, we are lost. We don’t know where we’re going; we’re not sure about our future, or something knocks us off track. Turns out the character in the book doesn’t know where she’s going and stream of consciousness writing worked perfectly, the story arose. I think that part of the writing will make some people uncomfortable-especially people who like to plan and feel in control. But they can’t know where the book is going, because the character doesn’t know-they’ll have a reaction to that though. Some will be bothered, some won’t. Some people are okay with an uncertain future, others, not so much.

Q. What else might someone who is going to read your book want to know?
A. It explores the whole concept of left field experiences. That’s never mentioned anywhere, and none of the manuscript readers were told that before they read it, but now, thinking about it, I wonder if knowing that ahead of time, people might be provided with a different depth of experience of the book.

Q. Explain. First, what is a left field experience?
A. Left field experience: a phenomenon in which a happening or event arises from an unexpected, bizarre or uncommon source or direction. The happening may range from being minor, such that one’s reaction to it entails only a brief surge in adrenaline and a fleeting sense of shock, to catastrophic, resulting in an intense personal reaction which precedes a transformation of consciousness and a change in the very core of one’s being or life direction. Basically, something unexpected occurs out of the blue that shocks one, and it provides an awakening of sorts, sometimes temporary, sometimes longer lasting. An example of a minor left field experience would be crossing the street when not paying attention and nearly getting clipped by a car. You’re shocked into paying more attention to life. Major left field experiences can be much harder to deal with and I think the challenge there is to awaken more into life, even though a person’s initial reaction can be to want to turn away or avoid.

Q. And there are left field experiences in the book?
A. There are. The main character, Danny, has a lot of them. She is also very good at giving them to other people. She’s busy trying to wake other people up at times, but she also needs to wake up.

Q. It sounds like the book has a few levels to it.
A. It does. And they are levels that can be missed. There’s the obvious and the not so obvious. On the surface it’s a funny read with some great characters. If you look deeper, there’s a whole lot of other stuff there. Try getting all of this down in a one page query letter to a publisher or an agent. There’s an exercise in frustration.

Q. And if they only read a chapter or two?
A. They’ll get parts, but they won’t get the whole, and they may very well miss all that there is.

Q. As a new author, you’re considered a bit of a risk to publish aren’t you?
A. Yes, but every writer out there was new at this at some point in time. I believe in this book and I believe it has mass appeal. I’m only too happy to work my butt off getting the word out about it. In the meantime, because I’m totally out there about what I’m doing, I just get to hang with the public humiliation of everyone knowing about my rejections, and I hate public embarrassment and humiliation, hate it. But getting this published is worth all that to me. And hey, I can be an inspiration to others for taking risks. It’s kinda cool actually. I’m presently facing one of my worst fears. And I’m surviving.

Q. Any ideas for marketing?
A. Lots. I’m an idea person. Sometimes I have to calm myself down though. I can get over the top sometimes.

Q. Future plans for writing?
A. More books. I’ve got an idea percolating. If it keeps doing so and starts a roiling boil then I’ll know I’m good to go. That’s what happened with this book. My top was ready to blow by the time I sat down to write it. I couldn’t ignore it. It had to be written.

Q. In the meantime?
A. Submit, wait, work on pre-marketing, hope, submit, write the blog, and pay attention to life.

Q. Thanks for the interview.
A. Thank you. It’s always nice to have someone to talk to. Even if it is only me.