Random Musings from a Former Bathroom Inmate

The last time I posted on this blog was January 7. It was shortly thereafter that I began painting our upstairs bathroom. Out with the dark dreary old paint and in with the funky bright spring colors. A great project to deflect my brain while I waited for a friend of mine to finish reading and editing my manuscript. Or so I thought. At first. But then after hours and hours and hours of painting and several small breakdowns later my husband and son kindly pointed out that the green I'd chosen clashed with the fuschia, and it all looked rather stupid with the floor. A new paint color was chosen, a darker burgundy/purple...which somehow translated long days painting later to a crap red brown in the bathroom light. ARGH. The bathroom is now a light green and white, having been repainted by my husband who could no longer stand to be around me, and who knew that after all that hard work and disappointment, the only place in the house he wouldn't have to encounter me would be in that bathroom.

The lesson in all this? I can be one unhappy camper when I put a lot of hard work into something, sacrifice other things, and come out of it all with an end product that is crap. I mean, I sacrificed my social life for that bathroom, I sacrificed my exercise time. I sacrificed time devoted to my manuscript, family time, and I put up with chaotic surroundings, all to get something that isn't remotely like anything I wanted. My time spent in the outhouse feels like time I just lost. I made those same sacrifices last summer when I wrote the manuscript for No One In Particular. The good news is, I love the end product and that made all those sacrifices seem worth it. Over the weekend, I completed draft number 3, cleaning and polishing the manuscript with the assistance of a friend's notes. I now have another believer in the manuscript and he's passing it on to people he knows, trying to help me on the journey toward publication. I have the support of everyone who has read the manuscript fully, which has been great, because self-doubt has a way of creeping in when you're dealing with the publishing industry.

I'm still debating whether to post chapters on this blog, or on another site www.authonomy.com . Then there's the possibility of self-publishing, and publishing on Kindle on Amazon. We'll see. It's kinda like my manuscript is stuck in that upstairs bathroom. It wants to see the light of day, wants to enter into people's lives and create relationships with them, wants to make people laugh and feel good, but it's trapped...stuck because it's author is an unknown, trapped because maybe so far it's creator just hasn't found the right match for it, or hasn't written the query letter that sends agents and publishers into spasms of delight. I'm working on getting it out again now, my friends are working on getting it out. I will persevere. This baby deserves to see the light of day.

Zoom, Zoom

The holidays are over, and my back is much better...nothing like some extreme tobogganing to snap all ones discs back into place! I was a good girl though and didn't try skiing. My legs on a snowy hill tend to have a mind of their own, and the thought of ending up in weirdly contorted positions while splatted on my back facing the sky was just a little bit to risky to bear when I was still feeling the odd twinge of pain.

I'm waiting to hear from a reader who has also kindly offered to help me with edits on my manuscript before proceeding much further with agents and publishing houses. I've had some good feedback so far...yahoo. I'm up to about 11 or so rejections from agents, most very kind, and so far, no one has said, "Your talent is less than that of a blind two-legged cockroach," so that gives me hope. The reality of No One In Particular is, I believe, that it doesn't quite fit into any one neat little category. It's not just a romance, it's not the typical chick lit with a heroine who shops at Prada. It is a twisted, dark, quirky, but very funny look at life, death, work, injustice, love and relationships. It makes sense that I wrote a book that doesn't fit neatly into any categories, my life has always had that theme running through it. Not quite fitting, always sort of floating. Floating has its advantages though. One is never pegged as only being a certain way, and therefore there's a mystery that is appealing to others. One can sit back, observe and learn and not be shut out of anywhere because one doesn't quite not fit either.

Now that I've had some time to sit and reflect about the process of trying to get published, I think it's really funny that I titled my manuscript No One In Particular. That is pretty well how I am looked at in the publishing world. No one famous, no one well known, no one who has created a scandal. So, despite the fact that my mansucript might be leaps and bounds better than something written by Paris Hilton, or Tori Spelling or any other scandalous, but famous person, I am looked at as No One In Particular, and am therefore seen as a huge risk for marketing. Can I just say here that I would be more than happy to have my manuscript, written solely by me, compared and rated against some of the books out there that are being published? Fair? No. The reality of the publishing world? Yes. So come on Paris, I challenge you. Get me published so we can really see who writes a better book. That being said, apparently there is a huge population of people out there who are more than happy to plunk their hard earned money down on a book by Paris vs. a book by No One In Particular, who also happens to be a counsellor, a real life Jane, and a woman with a lot of life experience. That's smart. No wait, that's hot. No wait, that's not.

Happy Holidays and All that Stuff!

Hey cyber world,

I'm taking a well earned holiday from life and am heading away for two weeks, my sole aim, to enjoy myself, relax and accomplish as little as possible. Okay, maybe the accomplish part is a lie, but this is going to be about fun accomplishment.

My back still pains me, but less than it was, and my goal is to come back to the real world in 2010 with a renewed fighting spirit. The world of agents and publishers served to poke a bit of a hole in my gumption during the last part of this year, but I refuse, refuse, refuse to believe there isn't someone out there that wants a manuscript that is funny and entertaining, quirky, interesting and complex. Like hallo!! There is a block buster Sandra Bullock movie sitting in my hands and all you sillies aren't getting that. I have no problem with moving right to a movie without the intercept of a publisher, but I think the full meal deal would be a win/win/ win for everyone.

I may start publishing parts of the book here next year. We'll see. I haven't yakked about it that much on here, so I have a bunch of options up my sleeve, and after a little rejuvenation, look out world! I may also post a resume. It would view something like this. Type A personality, totally driven, accomplishment oriented counsellor/author seeks an agent/publisher who can keep up. I have more than enough motivation, smarts, and drive for both of us to make this book a success, so if you can manage to get off your seat and send me an email, I'll be happy to do a lot of the work and whip your butt into shape.

Happy holidays all. I'll see ya all in 2010. In the meantime, I'll be hanging on the beaches of Cabo and splatted against a tree or two in the Kananaskis. Cheers!

One Little Sneeze

One little sneeze is all it took to send my back into shattering spasms of pain. Me, I, who has never had a back problem, was struggling wholeheartedly to conquer a single stair this morning. Nothing like a dose of humility. Nothing like a left field experience to send one somewhere else. I've been pushing my body lately. Long three mile walks, isometrics, and every form of muscle crunching activity one can do, have all been completed daily in an attempt to get back to the form of body I recognize as being mine. Strong. In doing all that, I've injured nothing, suffered no ailments. But yesterday morning, as I reached down toward the floor to pick up a piece of lint I sneezed, and was taken to my knees as my back protested against the combination of sudden muscle movements that was required of those two seemingly simple things. Out of nowhere came the unexpected, trying to move me away from my goal, slow me down, get in my way. And now, as I sit and think about what that all means, I know that I am looking for ways to get in shape that get around the fact that I have a stupid back injury. I'm taking advice from my chiropractor, but also listening to myself. I'm determined to keep working toward getting in shape and I'm finding exercises that allow me to do that without further inflaming my back. I've hit an obstacle, but I'm moving around it, determined to succeed, and that's what I need to do with my book. Move around the obstacles, work toward publication even when things get in my way. Not sure what that looks like yet, but I'll find that. The last year has shown me how determined I can be. I'm only now discovering just what exactly that means.

The Silence of December

As I have continued to work on shrinking my expanded back side over the last month, through long walks with my dog and assorted muscle burning exercises, I've had a lot of time to think. What did I think? Primarily I thought that I feel a lot healthier and more energetic when I'm on the move, rather than engaging in the sedintary activity of typing away on my computer. I've felt guilty a few times, when I thought I should be pushing things more regarding my writing, but the reality is, I pushed myself incredibly this summer. In just over 4 months time I completed my novel, all 387 pages of it. I don't even want to fathom how many hours I spent sitting in front of my computer screen as I worked at hitting my goal. And I did it. I finished my novel, I've been successful in making it funny and entertaining, with a great story. But now, things are no longer soley under my control. Trying to find an agent or publisher who is willing to take a risk on a first time author seems to be almost worse than finding a needle in a haystack. I mean, if someone puts a needle in a haystack, you know it is in there somewhere, and it's just a matter to taking the time to find it. With finding an agent or a publisher, there are all sorts of factors to consider, including wondering if my query letters are stunning enough. Maybe in one of my next posts I'll write an online query letter. Then it will be there for all to see in cyber space.
In the meantime, I've been in the midst of a great chasm of silence. No rejections, no nothing in my inbox day after day. Just waiting for some responses that seem so long in coming. And when you believe in something, like I do in this book, it can be hard to sit back and wait even when you know it's the right thing to do. Right now, waiting is the right thing, but boy, would I be happy, if when this silence finally breaks, it the is sound of "We would love to see the rest of your manuscript." that shatters the stillness of my inbox.

Numerous Ways to Avoid Feeling Blue as One Works Toward the Elusiveness of Publication

I've been avoiding this blog for awhile. I've been avoiding most anything connected to writing, other than anything that can be put in a list. My brain is still trying to work through what I read on one agents website. In short, she wrote..."first time author? unknown? you want to get published? ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. good luck!" And so I thought: why am I spending day after day, hour after hour writing my life away, my butt expanding exponentially with every word I type? To have a behind the size of Mount Baker as a published and validated author is one thing. To be described as mountainous and unpublished just won't do, and frankly it would really do a number on my sense of self worth. And so, as I struggle against the grain in pursuit of the elusiveness that is a contract for publishing for my first book, I am going to do so with a butt that is narrower than Mount Baker. This is my key to self worth survival. If a certain accomplishment eludes one, pursue other accomplishments. Thank goodness I'm good at multi-tasking and redirecting.

Whew! Writing a whole paragraph was hard. Obviously my brain is exhausted from all the lunges earlier in the day. So, back to a list. Here's all I can think of to avoid anything to do with writing. This is kind of like pregnancy. Wait, wait, wait, grow, wait, and wait somemore, and when you can't stand any more waiting, distract, distract and eat ice cream.

Things I have done that have no relation to getting published:

1. I fell asleep...a lot...many times...both during the day and at night. On the couch, on a floor, in a vehicle ( and no I wasn't driving). I can sleep anywhere, anytime. Sleeping is good and cozy and I'm not having rejection dreams yet.

2. I've been walking the dog and working out. The dog is happy. My stomach is not. It hurts. I'm happy when it hurts cause it looks a bit deflated. A deflated stomach is good.

3. I've cleaned the house, several times over. I'm so thankful I don't have a housekeeper. There's nothing more rewarding than looking at a sparkling clean floor, other than getting published, or major surgery.

4. I worked on getting a new website up...for my paying job. It's done...AND IT'S PUBLISHED!! And it's so pretty. Check it out. http://www.langleycounselling.ca/

5. I've spent time with my son and husband without saying, "Nice talking to you, but sorry gotta go and get stuff done. Dinner? Huh?"

6. I've got myself a new smart phone and spent hours and hours making it my own. Too fun. I've turned into a techno geek, and I can now say I'm happy for that. The best moment of the week was when I called Telus ( my service provider) back, to tell them how to solve a problem with the phone, cause they couldn't figure it out.

7. I've been planning dinner parties with friends. Doesn't matter whose house it's at, I'm planning it. Out to dinner, in to dinner, appies for dinner, I'm in. Course this only happens twice a year, where I feel like I have the motivation to cook anything other than something that comes out of a box.

8. I've started writing a second novel. It's slow right now, but the first one was slow at the start as well. It moves with one of the characters from the first book, because those who have read the first one, wanted to know more..... Ooops, guess I have been writing.

I'm an accomplisher. Ah well. In between the sitting quietly in life, one has to do something, and while I'm waiting to get the energy back to face the world of publication again, there are other mountains to climb, other people to feed, other things to work on. Someone sent me their bucket list the other day. It reminded me that I'll have to rewrite mine. Lists are fun and easy and it's amazing what happens when you write things down.

PS. Ellen, I know I haven't caused a great scandal or anything, and not a lot of people know me or anything, but wouldn't it be grand to catapult an unknown onto the bestseller list? Just for the fun of it?

Amazing Christmas Gifts

I'm all written out at the moment. There's no oomph left in the hemisphere of my brain from which the ability to write sproings forth. I suppose I could spew forth on more of all the feelings and frustrations of being an author who is working toward getting published...but...Nah. I'm just waiting for some responses to various queries right now, poking away at a second book, occasionally grumping to my friends, family and the dog about my situation, and doing some well intentioned, but of little consequence pre-marketing. Perhaps along the way in all of this effort to get something going, I have fried the connection my humourous glandas as well, cause at the moment I have no motivation to even attempt to write something funny. Scratch that...there's some motivation there, but methinks me is just too tired, and being funny takes work, or the right mood, or something else which I can't quite find at the moment.

So, since I'm not going to amuse you with my wit, I'll just share with you a link to some really amazing Christmas gifts. I'm really not feeling like I need anything this Christmas, and was doing the usual "what do I get for everyone else who has everything and really needs nothing" when lo and behold, a catalogue arrived in the mail this afternoon from the Plan Canada. You can buy a goat for a person in need. Clean water for a family or classroom. Mango trees, Birth Certificates for children in need! How cool is that? You can give the gift of reading to children or immunize a community against polio. So check out the site http://plancanada.ca/giftsofhope In my family now, my parents and us give to some charity every year instead of giving each other presents. I'll be putting one of these gifts in their names. Maybe a pig? Farming tools and seeds? Wow. Spread the word. This kind of stuff makes Christmas fun!

And of course, if anyone wants to help get my book published for Christmas, how could I say no? I mean, hey, if it's a success, just think of all the pigs, cows, chickens and clean water I could buy. I'm game for giving back!